Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize