We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
