I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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