this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
