Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there was a trapeze. enough said
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
