its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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