you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
