i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
