The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
