New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
