found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
