what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
