I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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