i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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