I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
