hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Holy shit dude........stairs
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
