But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
We're too hungover to prance.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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