I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
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