she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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