Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He did a backflip because drugs
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
