You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
