He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
