Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
