Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
