whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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