I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize