He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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