the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
