spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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