I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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