wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
When are your genitals available?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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