it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
