I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
