So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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