I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
