it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
