We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
