You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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