so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
