It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
