were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize