It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
