She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
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