Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
