My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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