I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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