Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
