Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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