I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
should my penis look like a turkey
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
