Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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