walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Let's paint friendship bongs
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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