He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
