forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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