He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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