If i come over, it means nothing
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
