I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I need water and some morals
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
