just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
