She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
