Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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