dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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