how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
