im drinking this country out of the recession.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You have to summon your inner elephant
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize