Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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