Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
