operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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