Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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