thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
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