so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
