pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
