Me too!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
why is half of my head shaved?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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