let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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