just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize