I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
