Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
