His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i barfeds in our rink
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You are a genius and a whore.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize